Behaviors, Race, and Truth Paper

Behaviors, Race, and Truth

9/21/2017

 Growing up in the public school system here in Hawaiʻi I was introduced quickly to the diverse cultures and traditions from all around the world that make up the community here on the islands.  Being raised on the island of Kauaʻi with the spectrum of ethnic backgrounds within my extended family members the kind of racism in the negative sense didn’t seem to be a big issue.  Racism in my family circle seemed something in which jokes, passive aggressiveness, and some friendly venting could occur.

 For example when at a family reunion every knew to excuse my grandpaʻs obnoxious rude loud comments because he was “Portuguese”.  On the other side of the room where it smelled like fried fish and patis it didn’t matter if it was stinking up the room (in which most cases you would not want that smell lingering in a social setting) but because they were filipino it was ok.  And when my older cousins got angry for no apparent reason “..it because he was elokano..”  And being elokano a type of filipino apparently they got mad for no reason and it was ok.  Just some of these strange family mannerisms dominated our family social gatherings.  

 I remember as a keiki seeing my cousins who hunted and fished who were white in skin color but yet were considered the most “local”.  I also remember some of my most Hawaiian relatives who were actual Hawaiian, acted the most western with their suit and ties and preaching at a charismatic service.  Skin color, race, and behaviors to me just meant that it was ok for a certain time of person to do something and it be ok because they were ________ (fill in the blank)________.

 As I grew older I saw the down side of using race or ethnic background as a crutch for bad habits and vices.  I remember going to visit my cousins on Kauaʻi after living on Maui for a while, I would be teased because my pidgin wasn’t too pidgin enough or because I wore different type of closes (mostly clothes with no holes in it).

 One of the “bad habits” I grew up recognizing, was when I would visit my cousins and they would not say complete sentences.  After a while I would just tell them what are you saying, speak clearly!  But it would be replied back with a mocking sarcastic tone of “why you not local enough dats why.”  As if the assumption here was the more someone couldn’t understand you gave you more local credits. 

 Another “local” thing to do was drink green bottle beers.  It was ironic to me even as I teenager to think that was local because it said imported.  And who said that drinking beers was a local thing to do?  It was something I picked up in my intermediate school days from my classmates who probably saw their uncles drinking on the beach and rumors spread that if you drink lots of beer (the green bottle kind) you are more local.  I wonder how much sales Hawaii has given to that company just by marketing off it. 

 My experience as a local here on the island of Maui when I was younger was that race usually associated with the kinds of behavior patterns people wanted to associate themselves with.  It was like you could almost choose your “racial preferences” by doing certain behaviors, like wearing board shorts only, drinking green bottled beers, and speaking only in pidgin you would be considered local.

 

 Growing up on a transit island like Maui you meet countless amounts of people on a daily.  You create close ties quickly and just as quickly you see them leave.  With Maui having 1,000,000 tourist a year it gets a little tiring having to share spaces with the tourist and their lifestyle I feel that I was starting to create prejudices and perceptions of my own.  

 Some of my prejudices and perceptions happen to come out of close friends who I became close with but after a short time left the island which took a tole on my heart, other prejudices came from working in the tourist industry where high expectations and demands were made upon you (rightly so because they were paying for it) but created a kind of resentment towards visitors, and another ingredient towards my racial bias came from diving deep into the western christian culture.  Each example has tainted and colored my view on race; but more specifically culture. 

 In my teens, assuming like all teens, they are trying to find their identity.  This deep philosophical question (who am I?) is yet one of the deepest human mysteries and as a growing islander from Hawaii it seemed that my past education didn’t equip me with answers to ground myself in.  So just like any other teen trying to find who they are in this complex world media, friends, and music was my go to identity getter. 

 I think about the quote from David Hume on identity “How can you know something if you don’t know what it is?”.  Here doing a paper on racial experience and culture I am still trying to find out what people are trying to really articulate when they point fingers at another human being and use skin color as a target for their offense.  

 How am I writing this paper exactly?  Well upon reflection upon this short time of writing it seems that the history of my life has been filled with contradictions, paradoxes, and human emotions because of the diversity and complex beliefs within this close quartered multi nation rock in the middle of the pacific.  I am realizing that there is something inside me that is used to these anomalyʻs found in Hawaii.  Upon further reflection I perceive maybe it isn’t about skin color or behaviors but about the hidden walls, bitterness, and tensions between human to human interactions. 

 Maybe Iʻm going way left field on this target but from my experience one of the biggest human problems is the lack of clear vulnerable authentic communication.  It seems that without that kind of communication, protective personalities, walls, and false personas fill the forefront of our interactions with the unknown world and people in it.  

 Maybe all this pretending to behave a certain way or even communicate in a certain way has been shaped by the hardships and pain of betrayal, un forgiveness, and maybe false beliefs.  Itʻs like we wrap up all the dark emotions of our heart and project them unto others finding any hint or clues that we can persecute in the name of taking justice and self righteous duty.  

 Or maybe this racial tension and language it is a reflection on what we do really believe in our hearts and minds.  That our club is the superior club and that all other “others” should do it our way.  Maybe this kind of vulnerability and authentic language is one where we can use power to dominate and push the weaker group over.  Itʻs a power versus power war.  Though I doubt it. 

 One of my conclusions is that because most people donʻt really truly understand who they are (history, traditions, purposes, and beliefs) it is like people with no foundation have become like sponges that soak up the plethora of beliefs and ideas coming in from the world.  With so many choices, view points, and contradictions its no wonder that I see most younger generations here in Hawaiʻi with a lack of security, trust, and resistance.  It may be so that we are tired of following empty ideas, false doctrines, and even seeing our hard working parents make it paycheck to paycheck.  What better persons to blame than the “other”.

 

 Traveling to many places around the world it seems that no matter where you go there are timeless values that stand across the board.  One of the most important moments in my life was when I was introduced to the concept (some would say a person) of truth. Truth became the sword that cut through all the empty ideas and gold and glitter of the world.  I started to see racial terminology as excuses for a lack of discernment or understanding, and I started to see peopleʻs actions as either true or less true.  And by that I mean their efforts to come to a place within themselves to do things out of a place of free will choice rather than self biases, socio cultural narratives, and robotic systematic procedures.  

 Telling the truth is easy but getting to a place where you can actually see past the control, manipulation, and the patterns of the world can be the most difficult obstacle.  

 

 So in closing for now.  It seems that trying to get the obstacle of untangling the complex beliefs of the world and or taking out the walls and protective personalities that were built over the years from pain (sometimes not realizing that its there), seems more of a daunting task.  So instead of getting help from others learning how to navigate through the puzzle of ideas, it seems quite easier to just be a racist and write people off because it seems more convenient.  No one likes confrontation and getting deep into their gushy issues of the heart, in fact most people have not even started to learn that there is such a thing.  But as for me traveling the world, going back to school and learning from others here on this beautiful island of Maui I can feel new hope rising in my core that is about to permeate the islands.